So this past week has been interesting. I spent most of it angry- no, I wasn’t PMSing, just angry. It seems that the weeks transfer between anger and sadness. But despite my anger, I managed to make a date and keep. Two, actually.  But instead of feeling better, I feel….empty. Because nothing is resolved. I still hate dating. Night one left me feeling empty, night two was better until a conversation ensued regarding faithfulness in a relationship. To me, if you’re going to commit to a relationship, you commit. If you can’t do that, or don’t want to, then what the f**k are you doing looking for a relationship???
Stop wasting my time. I know what I want- I want commitment. I want good conversation that isn’t one sided, someone who can debate without raising their voice. I like compliments but they aren’t necessary every 5 seconds. Just because you’re smart and make good money does not give you the right to be an arrogant prick.
I now find myself regretting things I’ve said or done in the past. I’ve always felt that money isn’t everything, nor do I always hold grammar issues against someone. I want that click, that chemistry, the feeling of “I just can’t wait to see him or talk to him again”. A nice, decent human being that can connect with me on all levels.
Did I just describe the impossible? I sure hope not, and hope is all I have left.