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I started out the day
In such a way
I couldn’t help but smile.
But one word from you
Mere moments in my mind
Crushed my good time.
Why, do you say?
What evil is so necessary?
I finally get a grasp on my place in this space
And you go and ruin it for me.
It’s never good enough
Never enough
Why? When? Will it ever be enough?
Will I ever be good enough for you?
Don’t say you don’t push me because you do
Silence speaks just as much as words.
To know I’ve come so far so fast
And yet you crush my soul like a bug.
The past is the past
But it makes us who we are.
If we cannot learn from the past we cannot move forward.
But moving forward is oh-so-hard when that past looms from all directions
All the time
Every day.
Every thought I have every word I say
Is in direct relation to the way I was raised.
So don’t tell me what to think or how to act or what to do
And for damn sure don’t tell me to let go of my past
Because my past is what made me who I am today.
And if you can’t be proud of me don’t be
But don’t expect me to live my life the way you want me to because you couldn’t do it right the first time for you.