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I learned a valuable lesson tonight: I am not ready for another relationship. I am bitter. I act older than I am. I’m ready for the next step but the world I am in hasn’t caught up with me.
I am old, and I like it.
You hear women complain about their age, or grey hair. I look forward to it. I look forward to the days where I can say I am 30, or 35, and people finally believe me! Right now all I get is “no way”.
So I don’t know what to do. I did manage to expand my friend network tonight which is pretty cool. New faces to help me move past old shit. But some of the old faces I barely recognize, and part of me cringes and wonders if I, too, was once like that. Or if I am like that. I hope not.
So will I keep dating? Sure. I gotta stay hip to the new stunts people are pulling. Am I going to look for a relationship? No. It’s not time.
And I’m just not ready.

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