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No, not THE ex, an ex.

It’s amazing what you learn about yourself through the years. You accept that you’ve changed, and that others have to. And all you can do is hope that they’ve changed for the better, or haven’t changed so much that you no longer know them.

So I asked him to lunch. I haven’t heard a response. It took me an hour of staring at the screen to type those words. A friend of mine pointed out – you wouldn’t hesitate if it were anyone else. She was right. So I did it, and now I’m waiting. And I may just keep waiting forever. And that’s fine. Thinking you can honestly reconnect after 10+ years…I don’t know. 

What’s funny is the whole time I was hesitating writing him songs were playing that fit with “just do it stupid”. At least I can say I tried. I’ve just about exhausted most means of finding dates. I’m not a bar person, or a person who even really like to drink, so I’m slightly limited. I really only have a few true friends, and most of their friends are in some form of  relationship (or if they are single I wouldn’t touch them with a 1,000 foot pole). 

So, why not try with an ex, who happened to be a good friend? We were kids back then, our relationship probably barely made a blip on the radar of The Fates. And many of my other ex’s, and old friends for that matter, are settling down. I think this group is finally reaching the point that many of my other friends reached in their early 20s.

What’s the worst that can happen? He says no, and we go right back to they way we were – not speaking, just Facebook friends. And I’ll move on. Even though it will hurt at first, I’ve been through a helluva lot worse.