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If I’m not mistaken, I’ve been pretty well aware of at least a general idea of how babies are made since I was 6 or 7.

Considering I’m now 28, I know exactly how they are created, AND, amazingly enough, know how to prevent them from being created (to the best of my ability).

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I am completely and utterly astonished at how many times over the past few years I’ve heard (from people I know!), “Oops, looks like we’re having a baby! I just don’t know how it happened!”

I know how it happened. If you don’t, we have some issues we need to discuss.

That’s no excuse, especially if that comment is followed by, “I didn’t really wants kids.” What The Fuck. Really? Then how did you end up pregnant? Birth control has been free for women with no health insurance (at least in my state) for a very long time. Or at least subsidized if you made too much money to get it for free. And, as a woman, you should always ask if any medication you are given will affect previously stated birth control…in which case, you choose a backup method or abstain until said medication is out of your system.

But that makes too much sense, doesn’t it?

I, for one, am not sure about having children, so I make sure I do everything in my power to avoid it at this stage in my life. Granted, accidents happen; however, again, so damn often? How is that statistically possible?

I don’t much care if a couple is married or not, as long as both parties step up to the plate to take care of the child/children, or find a workable solution or arrangement that doesn’t cause harm to or neglect the child. However, what saddens me  is that these so called “people” who “accidentally” get pregnant are the ones constantly procreating. I really love the ones with more than one kid – even better if they are 9 to 11 months apart. Because really, who knew you could get pregnant right after you had a baby?

(You can’t see me but I’m shaking my head.)

But honestly, are people really this ignorant in 2013? If they are, we’re doing something horribly terribly wrong when raising children. I am a firm believer in explaining things, especially to pre-teens and teenagers, because they’re going to explore. They are. Get over it. If that means you have to have an uncomfortable conversation with your child, suck it up. Or take them to a doctor (a real doctor that treats grown ups) and have them explain it. Preferably in horrific detail, especially regarding STDs and the like, as well as pregnancy and what actually happens when you’re pregnant and give birth.

Because if someone had taken the time with me as a pre-teen to actually explain all this stuff, I could’ve saved myself some trouble. But they didn’t, and I learned on the fly. Which is not what I recommend at all; I’m just lucky I learned quickly and paid attention, because there wasn’t a damn soul who cared enough to explain.

But what do I know? I’m just a sad, single, lonely girl pushing 30. Who owns her house, and car, and has an above average paying job. Did I mention said girl bought said house at 23? Oh, and no divorces, miscarriages, abortions or adoptions (of the human kind) under my belt. And I look forward to one day becoming a foster parent, because I think there are kids like me out there who need someone to help.

But what do I know?

*I know this post will piss some people off. I’ve had 1 friend, in my entire lifetime, who legitimately tried to prevent pregnancy (with oral contraceptive and using a condom) and it happened anyway. However, after the first time she should’ve learned, because then she got pregnant again. Immediately. And not on purpose. She was genuinely shocked. If you are aware of how it happens and the consequences of continuing in your behavior, all I’m commenting on is how ridiculous it is to say “I don’t know how it happened.” Because you do.

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