When a coworker shows you a picture of their best friend and that picture happens to be on the same dating website you are on.
I think I covered well.
Or else he was talking too much to notice my reaction.
There is a first time for everything.
I hate when I get like this, when depression rears it’s ugly head. My mood is perpetually pissed off, and there’s nothing good going on. I focus on all the negatives, and no positives break through the shell. I’m never really sure when it will hit, nor how long it will last. What I do know is I hate it. I don’t take medication and won’t, because it does nothing but muddle my mind. My mind is my strongest asset, I don’t need it to not function. I think it usually starts with something small, and my subconscious blows it out of proportion.
I’m hoping something will happen this week to knock out this funk. Or that I can at least channel it into something constructive or creative. Here’s to hoping anyway.
P.S. Update on guy I’m “waiting” on to call….he posted a status update to Facebook but my friend request still sits unanswered. This might give me a push to get out of this funk, because anger and frustration are easier to redirect than depression is. I don’t have the patience for things like this. Not to say I won’t talk to him if he ever calls, but it definitely colors my response.
Ugh. But what I do find is that I don’t want to talk to anyone new until I see where this other goes (if at all). I am seriously tired of playing the field, putting myself out there, repeating my life story over and over and over. I just want someone I get along with, and am attracted to. Have I said “ugh” yet?
On the bright side a friend of mine offered to take me out on the town Friday night. I haven’t had a true night out in almost 10 years. It’s not something I do often. I prefer small groups in intimate settings if I can help it, or nothing at all. So here’s to hoping it’s a good night. And who knows, maybe I’ll actually meet someone that makes me forget about guy-who-won’t-call-or-text-or-accept-my-friend-request-but-who-I-still-want-to-get-to-know. I really do hope he’s just that shy, and not really playing a game. Because I’ll be pissed if he’s just fucking around.
I hate waiting. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s waiting at a restaurant, waiting on a doctor, or waiting on a phone call, I Hate It.
But I do believe the worst is waiting on a phone call/text message from someone you like. I don’t have his number, he has mine. So I wait. I could go all stalkerish but I don’t want to. We have mutual friends on Facebook but I haven’t sent him a friend request.
The kicker is I think he’s insanely shy. He seemed very hesitant at first, but we got along great, and I really thought he was really interested.
See, there’s a back story that is oh-so-perfect that I just assumed I’d at least have heard from him by now (it goes back a few months). But I can’t go in to details because I had a friend with me, so posting it all over the interwebs is not smart. But it is definitely safe to say that the Fates had a hand in how the evening played out. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
But I haven’t heard from him. So what do I do? He was the one that showed interest and I reciprocated. Do I just wait and hope I hear from him? Do I give it a bit and send a request on Facebook to let him know I’m still thinking about him? I just don’t want him to not talk to me because he’s too shy. I really think we could have something great. Advice anyone?
Oh, and I do have to tread carefully because I will be seeing him in a professional capacity occasionally.
Did I mention he’s hot? And nice? And totally fits one of my preferred types?
I hope you did a double take on that sentence like I did. At least it gave me a laugh when I needed one. And no, I didn’t click on that profile because with my luck they’d think I was interested.
What does baffle me is finding someone who’s really interested for a whopping 4 hours, then disappears. I just assume they think they found someone better and move on. Whatever.
For some reason I’ll keep trying. Never give up, right?
No it’s not. It’s a creature that has interacted with me for 5 years. Depended on me for food and warmth and shelter.
And now I have to choose to ease his pain.
His name is Bart, because he was a little hellion as a young’un.
But he’ll no longer be in pain, and that’s what matters.
And it hurts just as much as if he was one of my furry four-legged creatures.
So I did it, I sent a text. And he immediately called! Now if that’s not interest I don’t know what is.
The conundrum I have now is that I’ve got 3 guys who seemingly want to date. I got lucky last night and guy #3 was too busy to stop by, but guy #1 wanted to spend time together at the same time guy #2 wanted to talk.
I don’t do this very well, and I don’t enjoy it at all. I don’t want to cut the wrong one loose, because I might pick the wrong one. #3 is exciting because he’s new, and he fits everything I’m looking for. I thought #1 did but… And that’s the problem. There is a “but”. I like #2 but…. So I’d rather focus on #3 who hasn’t had time for me to pick a “but”.
It’s not like any one of them has said anything about being a couple.
Although I can’t wait to be a couple again. I’m tired of this dating!
Day 2 after meeting someone new is the day I absolutely hate.
Do I text? Will it make me seem clingy?
What if he doesn’t text?
What if he really isn’t single and I text and his significant other gets it?
I really have no idea how to play it. In my opinion, if you’re really interested you don’t go a day without communicating. However, if it’s a case of only having met yesterday, do you delve in to the “I’m desperate” category by making the first move?
I hate this shit. I’m literally half and half on this. I want to text him, but I kind of want him to make the next move.
I mean, if he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t have given me his card with his cell number, right? This is 2013, a girl should be able to make the first move, right?
So work was slow, as expected. I was let off an hour early, so I swung by wally world to pick up a certain drink mix I like. This is the only store in a 50 mile radius that carries it. While there I grab a pizza, and run back to grab some toilet paper.
I almost literally run in to my ex. Shopping with the woman he left me for and her kids.
I held my head high, smiled, said hey how are you and even responded! I walked quickly though so I could get the hell out of there.
I made it all the way to my car before I lost control. Even after almost two years it still hurts. I figure after 7 of being together that’s ok.
I recovered though, and even stopped to see some friends and talk it out. I felt much better.
So I get home to find my mailbox vandalized, the week after someone stole a package. So I called the police to file a report.
And guess what?
Damn if the officer wasn’t a hot, single guy amd EXACTLY one of the types I prefer!
After talking for about 20 minutes, he totally asked for my number and gave me his card.
Talk about a full 360 in the span of 2 hours.
Do I feel better about myself? Hell yes! I can’t wait to talk to Mr. Officer again! Even if we don’t talk again, he made my night. Really, more like my year.