I disabled a few of my online dating profiles today. I’ve received what I believe two spam messages/profiles, and it made me realize I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. The final straw was asking friends if I should accept someone that didn’t meet a basic standard of mine – using proper English, for no other reason than being ignorant. Turns out it was probably spam; and more than likely it was one of the guys I’ve “dated” seeing if I was still searching. Never mind the fact I haven’t heard from him in weeks. WEEKS. But what irritated me the most is that I felt like I needed reassurance and acceptance that it would be ok to lower my standards.
But honestly, I’m really fucking tired of lowering my standards. I’m tired of being told I’m bitchy, or pushy, or rude, just because I don’t answer a message. I avoid confrontation if at all possible. I see no reason in it, because regards of what I say or how I say, everyone takes offense. So fuck it. I’m done, at least for now. I have so much I have to worry about, adding ignorant ass idiots I don’t really want to talk to anyway just pisses me off. I’d rather be alone. And that’s the truth.
I do believe everything happens for a reason. That reason may not present itself any time soon, but it will. There have been plenty of opportunities I’ve walked away from, I just need to learn how to catch them while they’re happening.
This doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying. I’ll just find different things to try. As I was reminded recently, the definition of insanity is to keep doing it the same way expecting a different result.
Well guess what? I just decided to do something different. So fuck you, you ignorant assholes out there, have a good time playing games with each other. I officially give you notice to walk away. I will not play your games anymore.
Oh, and I’ll stay true to me. Because if there’s one thing I learned in my last relationship, relearning yourself is way too damn hard to do it more than once in a lifetime.