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This post is not about dating. This post is about something that has been bothering me for awhile. I partially don’t want to post it here because this is anonymous, and I want people to know how I really feel. But in the end, the people I know don’t care, or already feel the same way. The people who don’t won’t appreciate it for it’s intended message. So here it goes…

Some people thought it was wrong when The Birmingham News ran a front page report about the 50th anniversary of the 16th street Baptist Church bombing instead of the 12th anniversary of 9/11. I am not upset. It all ties together; it’s all United States history. There is a common ground in these events: racism.

Somehow, over time, some humans have declared themselves better based on race, heritage, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. At some point a human being stood in front of another and said, “I am better than you.” Who died and made you God – or whatever deity you believe in? Who gave you ultimate power to declare yourself better than anyone or anything? The answer: your own misguided delusions. Because that’s what they are: delusions.

I am a white, middle class female. Not many people would look at me, or hear my basic description, and say I’ve encountered racism. Think again. Have you ever been shopping in a store that is predominately run by a different race? Have you ever felt completely out of place, even though you have every right to be there? Spend your money there? We all have. What about when I was dating a black man while living in the Deep South? You don’t know hatred until you encounter an older white couple who refuse to look at you, and say disturbing things even though you can hear every word.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of hate.

Don’t tell me I’ve never been discriminated against.

And Do Not Dare look me in the eye and try to tell me you are better than for any reason. You don’t know me. Walk away.

You don’t know anyone’s story, unless you ask. Judging in any fashion is wrong. Never take for granted what you think you know, because the next person you meet will blow that belief out of the water.

Always ask. Always presume innocence. Always try to smile, and right a wrong that you took no part in.

In the end, forgive. Even if you never cross the line and physically say you are sorry. Don’t carry that hate inside. Don’t generalize a group of people just because their grandfathers’ grandmothers’ aunt twice removed possibly had an indentured servant, a slave, or killed an ancestor of yours. Don’t lump an entire group of people together just because their skin is light colored, or dark colored, or absent of color. Grow up and move on. This world cannot continue to exist with the level of hatred we harbor for no reason other than we don’t understand.

Did those four little girls die in vain? Did over 3,000 people die in vain? Why are people still dying? Why are we still fighting each other?

It doesn’t matter whether it was 50 years ago in Birmingham, AL, 12 years ago in New York City, NY, or a week ago in Kenya; we are not learning from our past. We are letting our unfounded hatred guide us and drive us to act out atrocities that should never have even been a thought to begin with.

Stop The Hate. Break The Cycle. Don’t be one of the few to harbor that anger, that fear, and that hatred. Be one of the few that stops it.