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Have you ever realized you simply traded one set of problems for another? That in trying to do the right thing, the adult thing, you get knocked on your ass just the same?
I am trying to ask myself if I was really that desperate, or I actually thought it could work? Being open and honest does work, but it also hurts. I suppose I should be thankful for his honesty, but I still feel …disappointed. In him and myself. No, he didn’t cheat, and he didn’t lie, but he fucked up. And I broke a rule to myself, which should never have happened.
It all makes me realize that you really can only trust yourself, and bending the rules just that one time can be enough to make you remember why you should never bend them.
So what am I going to do? I don’t know. What I do know is I’ll spend yet another night awake because of just one more thing to worry about. I can fuck up all on my own; I damn sure don’t need someone else to help me, or drag me down with them.