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Let’s just say today sucked. Too much to do, not enough time. However, it’s bed time and tomorrow is a good day.
I finally got up the courage to ask a good mutual friend if said crush had a girlfriend — and he doesn’t. Granted, this could be by design, as I fully understand the joys of being single.
However, enter possible bachelor number 2. I can’t say I have interest in him just yet, but he’s on the radar. I’m almost hoping he just becomes a good friend, because I fear I would crush him like a tomato and feel horrible after. I am the heartbreaker in most cases, and I fear what I would do to him. He may be stronger than I realize, who knows. But I would still feel better setting him up for someone else (unknown at this time).
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m wrong on all of it. Maybe guy #1 has no interest, and guy #2 is actually The One. Or I’m way off base, need to get my shit straight, and move on.
I was going to talk to the bf tonight, but that was a no go. Part of me doesn’t want to, part of me wants to try, but then other parts say there is no future, move on and quickly.  I think I learn more about myself every day, and as I learn I realize I require so much to keep me interested in so many levels that maybe I’m not a one person woman. Maybe I have to have an intellectual person, a sexual person, a spontaneous person, a geeky person, and whatever else is out there I haven’t found yet.
We shall see. Tomorrow is yet another day.

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