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Am I really ready to do this? Am I really ready to face going forward alone, to start the search yet again?
Sometimes it seems exciting, meeting new people, learning new things, trying new things. But the flip side is what I don’t want to deal with – the feelings that are one sided, phone calls/texts never returned. Being ridiculed and/or ignored. Being judged before we’ve ever even spoken.
But in the end, what really matters? My happiness, and the well being of those in my care. I need to quit holding other’s needs above my own. I need to focus, really focus, on who I am, what I want, and why I refuse to settle.
And who knows, maybe that path means I’ll be alone. But at least I’ll be happy.