Something happened Friday that pissed me off. This something could have easily put my life, and my four-legged kids’ lives, in serious danger. All because he was so ready to get on the road to visit his new girlfriend.
Are you fucking kidding me.
Don’t get me wrong, I hope this weekend leads to them deciding to move in together, which means he’ll move out of here. But the fact of the matter is you haven’t moved, which means there are still obligations. Such as paying attention to the state of the house when you leave. Or leaving money for bills, as promised.
For some reason I decided to be nice and wait until Monday to send a reminder about the bills, but part of me wants to send it now, just to ruin their last little bit of weekend together. I am so angry, but to me this is just more proof of why we will never work long term. An attention span of a flea is not excusable, especially when it means possibly creating a life-or-death situation. There is nothing more important than protecting the home where you and others live, and the lives of those creatures who cannot really defend themselves.
This has kept me distracted all weekend. I can’t concentrate, and I don’t want to. I want to rant and vent and throw things, but I know it won’t get me a resolution. All I know is the clock is ticking down to a deadline, and I can’t concentrate long enough to get my shit together to meet that deadline.
It doesn’t help that work keeps popping up, or that I have a sinus headache. I think I’m reaching a breaking point level, but what’s going to break now is beyond me. If this headache doesn’t let up I’m considering staying home to try to sleep it off. Sleep is the only time my head doesn’t hurt. As soon as I open my eyes, it starts again. I have a feeling it’s stress, and I have a feeling it won’t go away until I get rid of said stress, but how in the hell am I supposed to do that exactly? I’ve never been able to find a good way to do that.
I know I’m just rambling but I hope it will help. It hasn’t yet, but maybe getting this off my chest will at least help me focus on homework. Probably not, because what I really want to do is ruin his weekend too. But at the same time I need it to go well so he’ll leave.
Jesus, what have I gotten myself in to?