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I’m almost at a full year away from home, and I miss it now more than I have the entire year. I miss my friends, my house, even being able to see my family. I finally felt at home, at peace (except for work), and they all had helped build me up to believe that I truly could succeed….

But now I feel lost again. So lost. So alone. What exactly did I feel was so damn necessary to fight for again?

But everyone could see I was miserable, because my job made me miserable. And you shouldn’t have to live life being as miserable as I was.

I just wish I could’ve kept what I loved, and pieced it together with the other half that I love now. A bunch of what – ifs keep running through my mind, even though I know it doesn’t matter.

Sometimes I get tired of being the strong one. Sometimes I get tired of having to be in charge. This is when I long to have someone in my life that understands how much I over being in charge, but that when I need a break I need them to be stronger than me. I just didn’t realize that was so hard to find.

I feel like I’ve lost me. Again.