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Saying dating is stressful is an understatement. You never know who you are “really” going to meet. Will they look the same? Sound the same? Act the same? Or will they be so far off you can’t wait to run away?

But occasionally you meet someone. That person you tell your friends and family about, and get excited for your next date(s). You start planning weeks or months down the road, not just days. And you finally start to entertain the fact that you might like where this is heading – a legit relationship.

Then the other shoe drops. That proverbial damn shoe that all of us (maybe not all but I’m pretty jaded at this point) wait for when things are starting to look ok good. It’s a missed text, call or date. A cancellation when you had already confirmed the day/time/place. And then nothing. With no indication that things were going to just drop, there it is: silence. You start to think back and analyze every moment, wondering where you went wrong or said something or did something that turned them away.

But then you realize maybe it’s not you. Maybe you were being yourself, because you deserve to be yourself. Maybe they freaked out when shit started to get real, or used a lame excuse to walk away when they really met someone else and don’t want to tell you.

It is absolutely natural to immediately freak out and wonder what the hell happened. But at the end of the day you have to realize it’s just a day. Are you going to sit and wait? For what? For a sign or miracle or something? No. Don’t. Mourn the loss, but not for too long. Realize you mean something, and your feelings matter too. Release the anger and hurt and frustration and go back to being you. If you weren’t/aren’t happy with the “you” you are or were, doing something about it. Join MeetUp groups or messages boards for things that interest. Step outside your comfort zone and do something random. If they come back around, you’ll be secure enough in yourself to know whether or not it’s worth fighting for. At the end of the day, it’s still just a day. How do you really want to remember it?

P.S. update to Hello Friends – no, ironically this post isn’t about that person, but a different one after I decided I deserved better than to be ignored. However, the irony does not escape me.