I was going to write about how horrible my day was, and how much it sucks to be the target of a witch hunt, but the more I think about it the more I realize how this, too, somehow, could be pointed right back at me. I should not have to be a scapegoat just because someone else feels threatened. I don’t give a fuck about your job. I just want to do my job and go home. But no, I get dragged in to the BS and drama because you have to have somebody to be less than you, to be the face you rub in the dirt every damn time you feel like you’re inadequate.
The most irritating part is writing is what soothes me, and knowing that other people may actually take a moment of their time to read what I write is awe-inspiring.
But it’s really hard to be funny and eloquent when all you really want to do is give up. My spirit has been crushed. It’s hard enough to get by in this world under normal circumstances, but add up the shit I’ve been through in the past year and enough is enough.
I can’t turn around without someone or something fucking up something else. Nothing I do, or say, means an ounce of shit to anyone. No matter how hard I work, or how little I work, I feel like I get nothing in return. This applies to my job as well as my personal life. And I’m done with it all. Fuck’em.
I’m wasting my life away. I’m tired of it. I’m tired. I want my own business and I want it now. I want to finish school. I, I, I, I. For YEARS I’ve done what other people wanted, I’ve played the “safe” game, the bullshit, the hiding who I really am because it may not mesh well with society. Fuck society. This is 2012 damn it. I should be able to proudly say I’m a liberal, show my tattoos without fear of hatred or scorn, dye my hair pink if I fucking want to. If I want to date a woman or someone outside my race I should be able to without some asshole looking down their nose at me. People are people, regardless of age, race, sex, religion, etc. I should get equal pay, and not get passed over for promotions just because I’ve female. I am Woman, and I am strong. I need to be strong for myself because no one else can be, and frankly, I get kind of ticked off if someone gets in my way. So what am I waiting for? Time’s wasting. No one can change it but me.